Throwing in the towel on this online matchmaking experiment. Had buyer’s remorse and tried to get a refund from this platform within 24 hours after my enthusiastic friend peaked my curiosity… but the banditos wouldn’t allow it. So, I decided to give it a few weeks to see what, if anything, might happen.
Thirty days into the experiment I had 10 observations:
- There are at least 10 times as many old guys on the platform who think I am their match than I would consider if I were in my right mind…which I hope I am.
- It’s hard to tell if somebody is “for real” or making stuff up.
- A few of the profiles seem to have paid a pro for set up. Professionally done photos and perfect narratives.
- Some of the profiles and photos are downright scary.
- Other profiles and photos are pathetically realistic if not attractive.
- Some of the old guys make their needs clear/transparent in a few (perhaps too few) words. Others write a book attempting to explain — or find — themselves.
- Almost all say, in so many words, that they follow the Boy Scout’s Code: They are “trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thirty, brave, clean and reverent”.
- Almost all are beyond being simply open but are clearly searching…or is it hunting?
- Almost all say they have a lot of money. Most likely they have a lot of time.
- Men who claim to be widowers abound and appear to be the most needy. Even though it may be a head fake, my heart is always touched.
Early on I hand-picked just couple of guys for a pointed 8-minute telephone conversation. Got the idea after learning that college admissions officers sort applicants in that time frame. True to my journalism training, I came up with a list of standard, penetrating questions.
In both cases the gents were ready to meet afterward and, in both cases, I was frozen into inaction. When you ask the right questions you don’t always get the answers you want to hear. One sounded too full of himself and the other too vulnerable. Since I respect humility and don’t want to hurt anyone I moved on.
For sixty days now I’ve been bombarded with “likes” and “matches” from all over the state even though I requested a 50-mile radius. The platform “highlights” those who pay more and, even though I’ve previously declined them, they keep popping up on my daily offerings.
By the way, my 82-year-old widowed friend who peaked my interest about this by swooning over the fact that she found the “love of her life” online tells me they are still going strong and planning to take a Blues Cruise as they lean into six months together.
In truth, a number of my/our cohorts claim they have found matches by working patiently on it, some with good relationships lasting years. As for me, I can probably safely say I am generally disinterested. To be curious and perhaps even somewhat open seems not to be enough. One must be persistently searching and have faith.